Who or what would you have the hardest time loving?

thefaceofgod

My main focus in life - even day to day life - is to be Love (and compassion)...to embody Love as fully as is possible and to share that within my world. So I have contemplated a great deal on love (emotional/conditional) and Love (unconditional).

Love (with a capital L) is acceptance not approval. I can Love you and not agree or approve of what you are doing or expressing. Acceptance is simply that - accepting that this is the reality that is. Love does not always feel like love - like you might imagine it should. Love is a knowing not a feeling. love (emotional/conditional) is rooted in the emotions and ego (little self) versus the knowing (and by knowing I don't mean intellectual knowing). 

I have very intentionally put myself in the way of those who are most difficult to love/Love by most people. I just told this story this past week that may illustrate this a bit. In the mid-90's, I was an arts administrator and co-designed with professional artists (of all disciplines) and administered arts programs in schools, youth shelter homes, and prisons. In this role, I was with the artists when they were working in shelters and the prison. As we were setting up the program for the prison, I talked to the prison school director and told her that I did not want her to tell us what the men who were in the class were in for. My reasoning was that I wanted to be able to keep my heart fully open to each person in a pure way - without pre-conceptions or barriers. I could not fully trust myself that if I knew their crime that I could keep my heart open to them. She agreed. The class began and my role was to sit with each man as they created art and simply be present (assisting the artist when needed). They shared stories - experiences - as they created. This may have been the first time I fully realized the gift of being able to see beyond the exterior - the ego - deeply into the soul. I could see in each one their divine nature - that they were all beloved of God. That their essence was that of God. They had forgotten. They had piled on all sorts of un-truths about themselves and life in an effort to successfully maneuver within their life circumstances. The face they were presenting was not their true face. What happened was fairly remarkable to me at that time. I opened to this immense Love and it flowed through me in an intense way. My hands felt like fire - truly. I could barely contain it. This happened every single night. When we left - even though I knew I was being watched by the guards in the tower - I'd go into the parking lot and put my hands on the Earth to ground the energy. I had to. The men, as you might imagine, responded to this energy favorably. No one can resist Love - it is a very compelling energy. They had been used to being looked at as the lowest of the low - as absolutely not worthy of love in any way. I consciously called out and evoked the highest within them. This was all a natural process that simply arose. My only agenda was to Love. There were deep transformations within some men.  (if I shared those stories this post would be far too long) Throughout the class I learned through their own stories and other circumstances that most were in for pretty serious crimes - murder, rape, sex offenses, etc. When this came to my attention with each one, I was tested internally to see if that mattered in whether I could keep my heart open and still Love unconditionally. I could.

Fast forward to 3.5 years ago when I helped to start and then manage a homeless shelter. We are the shelter in the city that accepts all people - those who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, etc. The first week we were open as I was walking through the bed areas at night when everyone was asleep, I stopped and set my intention. I connected to God and my higher self - and said that in this work I would keep my heart open fully. I would not protect or shield myself. And I would not run no matter what. I set this intention very deeply and this has been essentially my inner set point. I am with some very wonderful people every night and also with some who are very challenging. There are a very small minority who are violent and act in hateful and destructive ways. My preparation for work within the shelter is to connect to the source of Love - fill myself up - and open my heart. I set the intention on the drive there to keep my heart open and be the presence of love and compassion. And then I get to see what happens! I am sometimes absolutely successful; sometimes so-so; and sometimes I fail. Then I know where my work is (within myself).

A woman in a contemplative group I'm in asked me last weekend how it is possible to see the face of Christ in all people - especially those who are very very challenging. I start with all of what I've just written as the foundation, and then I have a personal tool I use for those who are extremely challenging. I envision the person as a small child - usually a toddler - maybe an infant - and how their Mother (in the ideal world) looked at them. How she felt. As a Mother myself, I know this feeling. You feel as though this child is the most precious ever born. You Love immediately and beyond All reason. You have absolute hope for this child. If I can move myself to that place with that now grown person and see through the eyes of their Mother, I can Love them. (remember Love - as acceptance - as an inner knowing - not a warm fuzzy emotional feeling of approval).

I believe it is possible to Love all people. I also believe that Love is the most powerful force in all the Universe and can transform all things. The work is within us and it is to move ourselves into that place of LOVE and then commit moment by moment to be that as fully as possible. When you fall short of this vision, you do the work that is necessary and try again and again and again. It is the work of a lifetime.


- If you are interested, there was a recent article published about my work at the shelter. Heart of the Treasure Valley -  "We have a responsibility to one another" - Idaho Statesman.