Just returned from the shelter, so last person I spoke to was actually two resident volunteers in the laundry room. As I was leaving, i said goodbye and have a good night or thanks for the help tonight to the graveyard manager, resident volunteer who was nodding off in a chair outside listening to music and a resident who wished me a good night, and then stopped by the laundry room. A man who's on the shelter team (a resident) and a resident helper - an older woman who is the mother of a couple who stays with us, were busy folding laundry and sorting a large donation of blankets we received tonight from another local shelter. As it was 12:30 am, I advised them both to pay attention to their individual boundaries and when they've had enough and were tired, to just go to bed. Both nodded their head in agreement.

In the hour prior, I had a great conversation that lasted over 30 minutes with another resident outside (lights go out at 10:00 and things are generally quiet from 10:30 pm on). We talked about happiness, dreams, spirituality. He asked me about love and said something about how he didn't feel he had any more to give. I shared that I had been thinking about that topic on the way to work and used the Prayer of St. Francis to prepare myself for the night's work. He asked if I'd share it with him. I did and I could see it touched him. He asked me to say it again. I did slowly. He took it all in.  It was a deep and beautiful conversation.

I was once told that my life path or purpose was to help people to find their true home - which also could include physical shelter. That was pretty much right on. I am one of the founders of and now the director for Interfaith Sanctuary - a homeless shelter. Sanctuary is something I try to embody - to be a sanctuary for others. To hold within myself that sense of true home and invite others to take refuge as needed. I now live in a Catholic Worker House of Hospitality (as the resident Catholic Worker) and that has a similar purpose - to provide refuge and sanctuary for those who are in need.

Home was an interesting concept growing up and one that I think lent itself to how I have grown to understand home - both from within and without. My parents hobby was buying houses, rennovating them, and selling them. We lived in all the houses - starting from downstate NY (near West Point) and continuing to move upstate methodically until we reached Greenwich (they continued after I left and ended up on Lake Champlain - 50 miles south of the Canadian border in the Adirondacks). I learned very very soon into this process to not get attached to places or people. That had it's upside and downside. The downside was that I needed to learn that even though I knew we were moving on - like gypsies almost - I needed to be fully present and engaged wherever we were. Not holding back knowing that soon we'd be gone. Not once did I ever feel that OK, we're here or maybe we'll stay. I knew my father too well - he's a restless spirit (like myself). What this did for me was to help me find my own sense of 'true home' within (almost out of necessity).

About 20 years ago, I moved to Idaho from NY. Soon after I got here, I had a dream. I was in a hotel room - pretty barren. Woke up and didn't know where I was. Went to the window to see if I could tell what city I was in. Couldn't. Looked around the room to see if I could find something with an address. Coudn't. Called the operator and asked her to tell me where I was at - if she could. She couldn't. I became very anxious - starting to really panic. A voice came to me and said to breathe and go within. When I found my center, the voice said that this is your true home - you are connected to the Earth as home for your physical body and to Spirit as your true home. 

That dream shifted everything. I felt at home wherever I was and connected in a deep way.  I move at least every year it seems - maybe every two years - but have stayed within the city. The physical location of home is not important to me so as my life circumstances change (i.e., children growing up and leaving, relationships, spiritual life, etc.) I move into a place that is aligned. That's quite easier as a renter and one of the reasons I've not even considered buying a house - I evidently have the gypsy blood in me.

Home means as well a physical space that is aligned with my inner space. This just became apparent to me in the last year. Moved last March into an apartment. From the first moment I entered, I didn't feel at home. I chose that apartment in haste - it was easy - an acquaintance was the landlord - it was a good price as well. I never unpacked (except for the basics). I felt awful living there and it affected my health and overall well-being. At one point I was daydreaming about putting everything into storage and living outside as I knew I'd feel more at home under a tree somewhere. In September (3 weeks ago), I moved into a Catholic Worker House. I wasn't sure what this would be like - living with people that i normally serve at the shelter. Even on moving day, hauling boxes upstairs I felt at home. Like truly at home. I found that somewhat amazing. This physical environment is aligned to my inner space - where I am spiritually - and so it feels like home. 

I just returned from vacation. Getting ready to leave was a whirlwind on top of working and I didn't think to plan for the lack of music for the journey (not much into oldies and top 40 radio which is about all you end up with on the road it seems). So, quick grabbed some CD's and off I went. Most of my music listening these days happens via music subscription and iPod - so CD's are not something I have in large supply. The CD that became the themesong for the journey was Jennefer Berezan's Praises for the World.



My route took me from southeast Idaho to Bend, OR - south to Klamath Falls (the first day) through the Deschutes, Umpqua, and Rogue River National Forests (in a snow storm at night!).



Then from Klamath Falls through the Klamath and Shasta National Forests (one of my favorite spaces) and south on 5 to Petaluma.


* Photo Credit: D.O'Brien, Creative Commons License.







I was in Petaluma for 4 nights visiting the shelter director for C.O.T.S. - learning about the shelter operations in general but more on how he's integrated integral theory into programs (some in partnership with IONS) and moved the shelter from a charitable organization to one that is transformational.




During my 4 days in Petaluma, I drove to Point Reyes National Seashore (beautiful!) and one day drove to Sacramento to meet Liz and Arthur (a great joy!) and have dinner at an In-N-Out Burger with their lovely daughter Emma.


For the journey home, I drove north up 101 to Klamath (just south of Crescent City) and stayed at the Redwoods Hostel. Quite a cool place and the first time at a hostel. Lots of very diverse travelers from around the world. It was like staying at a camp. Spent some time at the beach before heading out the next morning amidst clouds - like driving through clouds!


Stopped at the Jedidiah Smith Redwood Park and hiked around in Stout Grove  (Note: I'm from NY where I lived most of my life and haven't traveled or explored much in OR and never in CA, so this was all a gift.) This was magical is about all I can say.

Then drove back into OR to Union Creek (just south of Crater Lake) and the next morning drove around the rim of the Lake. Snow was scattered on the ground and was there as the sun began to shine through the clouds - making the lake visible. Absolutely beautiful.


Many, many praises for the world. In these times when beauty seems hard to come by (or can depending on where our attention is), I was reminded again how opening to the beauty that is all around us nourishes our soul in an essential way. Where I live in Boise, beauty can be found in the sunsets, canyons, forests, rivers... However, when I first arrived from upstate NY/New England area, it took me probably 5 years to be able to see the beauty that was around me. I walked with a friend on the same path by the river weekly for years. He would stop and comment on the beauty. I didn't say anything, but I'd look to try to see what he was seeing and couldn't see it. Then finally after at least a year of listening to him comment about the beauty, I looked again and saw it. I was surprised that I hadn't been able to see it all that time - like one of those hidden pictures in kids books. Then when my eyes opened to the beauty, it was apparent everywhere.

The gift of beauty is all around us and in my view, daily doses of opening and breathing deeply of this beauty is as essential to our souls as food is to our bodies. Praises for the world.