Help
Sign In
compassion
November 2009 
The Simple Act of Noticing
Posted on Jan 8th, 2008
by 
Jayne
Jayne
Walk On By
Daniel Goleman , author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Intelligence, talks about Compassion on this YouTube video. The essence of his talk is about helping and that we're all hard wired to help - but then, why don't we? He shares several interesting stories on this topic, but one in particular caught my attention. He said that at one point he went out on the streets with social workers and learned that most of those who were homeless and on the street had psychological issues. Beyond that though, he said his 'urban trance' weakened and he was then able to notice those who were homeless. One day he was walking through the subway and noticed a man huddled up on the floor with no shirt. He walked over to him to see what was wrong. The man had fainted from lack of food. When Daniel walked over to him and spoke to him, others as well awoke from their trance and saw the man and came over to see what was wrong. Someone offered to go get juice, etc.
Daniel shares that we don't help because we are too focused on ourselves - so focused that we don't notice the other. Perhaps in too much of a hurry or absorbed in our heads about some issue. He shares a great story about divinity students at Princeton Theological Seminary who were given the assignment of writing a sermon on the parable of the good samaritan. They were told to write this and then go to another building to deliver the sermon. On the way, they passed a man hunched over in pain. How many do you think stopped to help?
In my work as a shelter director, one of my jobs is working with the volunteers. Since our inception two winters ago, we've scheduled 80-90 volunteers each week to run the shelter (along with 2 -4 paid staff). I hear this all the time from volunteers. 'Until I started volunteering for Interfaith Sanctuary, I never noticed how many homeless were on the street. Now I see them everywhere.” They woke up from their urban trance.
Perhaps in this day as we head out into the world, we'll walk in mindfulness - awake to the people around us - present - available to lending a helping hand and open to compassion.
Photo Credit: Walk on By - Socialtimes on Flickr. Creative Commons License.
Access: Public
I think a lot of this is also to do with fear of getting too closely involved. What if the homeless person “takes advantage of me?”
And the finding that you've given, of how homeless people often have psychological issues [who knows if homelessness is cause or effect?], is also something widely felt, and which must cause people to ignore them.
Why say “prople”? The most I'd do, is give a handout. I don't think I go and talk to the homeless either.
On this new moon night; something to ponder. Thank you Jayne, for helping to uncover a shadow.
I live in a small town. We have no homeless people. Last summer we had two people show up in town with a dog - a young couple. They had gone west to find their fortune. It wasnt' there and they had no money left. They wanted to get back to where they came from even though they had nothing there - it was familiary. Social services offered them a night's accommodation, a meal and bus tickets the next day. The bus wouldn't take the dog. They had nothing but the clothes on their backs and their beloved dog. I suggested maybe making a sign that they needed money and I'd take them out to the highway again the next day to hitchhike. Can we do that here? I don't see why not, I said. No one in this town is in an urban trance. Everyone gave - money, dog food and dog treats, coupons for breakfast, a bagged lunch….it was phenomenal. Perhaps in the cities we become desensitized to the suffering human that is there in front of us, and as Meenakshi says, there is fear. Thank you for enlightening me about the homeless and I am in awe of the work you do.